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Economics 101


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#1 David Allen Grove

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Posted 11 June 2004 - 01:12 PM

1. SOCIALISM:

You have 2 cows and you give one to your neighbour.

2. COMMUNISM:

You have 2 cows, the Government takes both and gives

you some milk.

3. FASCISM:

You have 2 cows, the Government takes both and sells

you some milk.

4. NAZISM:

You have 2 cows. The Government takes both and shoots

you.

5. BUREAUCRATISM:

You have 2 cows; the Government takes both, shoots

one, milks the other and throws the milk away...

6. TRADITIONAL CAPITALISM:

You have two cows. You sell one and buy a bull. Your

herd multiplies, and the economy grows. You sell them

and retire on the income.

7. AN AMERICAN CORPORATION:

You have two cows. You sell one, and force the other

to produce the milk of four cows. Later, you hire a

consultant to analyse why the cow dropped dead.

8. A FRENCH CORPORATION:

You have two cows. You go on strike because you want

three cows.

9. A JAPANESE CORPORATION:

You have two cows. You redesign them so they are

one-tenth the size of an ordinary cow and produce

twenty times the milk. You then create a clever cow

cartoon image called Cowkimon and market them

World-Wide.

10. A GERMAN CORPORATION:

You have two cows. You reengineer them so they live

for 100 years, eat once a month, and milk themselves.

11. AN ITALIAN CORPORATION:

You have two cows, but you don't know where they are.

You break for lunch.

12. A RUSSIAN CORPORATION:

You have two cows. You count them and learn you have

five cows. You count them again and learn you have 42

cows. You count them again and learn you have 2 cows.

You stop counting cows and open another bottle of

vodka.

13. A SWISS CORPORATION:

You have 5000 cows, none of which belong to you. You

charge others for storing them.

14. A CHINESE CORPORATION:

You have two cows. You have 300 people milking them.

You claim full employment, high bovine productivity,

and arrest the newsman who reported the numbers.

15. AN INDIAN CORPORATION:

You have two cows. You worship them.

16. A ! BRITISH CORPORATION:

You have two cows. Both are mad.
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#2 RobVanGelder

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Posted 11 June 2004 - 01:32 PM

Very, very, very funny, David.
More like this please!

Did you hear this on your birthday party? Congratulations BTW!

Rob van Gelder

P.S. Is there also a Thai version? or a Dutch?

:P
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#3 David Allen Grove

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Posted 11 June 2004 - 02:04 PM

Very, very, very  funny, David.
More like this please!
Did you hear this on your birthday party? Congratulations BTW!
Rob van Gelder
P.S. Is there also a Thai version? or a Dutch?
:P

I wish they had one for every country.. wouldn't that be fun?
Actually my wife sent it to me via email from her work.

Thanks, I'm not having a "party" but my wife is taking me out to dinner later tonight! woo hoo!
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#4 guillermo nespolo

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Posted 11 June 2004 - 05:57 PM

u forgot south american economy

you buy 3 cows and the imf tells you that your cows are really 4
after u speand for the value of 4 cows the imf tells u that you only have a cow and u have to pay to the money for 5 cows...so u are fuck plus interest an v.a.t
so your soons , grand sons and future generations have to work for the imf

thanks alot

ps old saying ...ones u burn with milk u see a cow and crays
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#5 JimBartell

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Posted 12 June 2004 - 12:25 AM

Happy Birthday David! I wish I'd known before I went to CineGear today or I could have wished you this in person. That'll teach me to run out of the house without checking the Forum Birthday list.

BTW, your profile here on the Forum lists your birthday as 11 June 1948. Dude! You are the youngest looking 56 year old I have ever seen! Is there a painting of you hanging in a barn in Iowa that is aging while you remain young and pretty? If so, is there a Dorian Gray Artist Studio I can get a portrait of my sorry-ass looking 46 year old grill painted? Trust me, it's not a pretty sight.

Jim "Free John's Sled!" Bartell
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#6 David Allen Grove

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Posted 12 June 2004 - 11:33 AM

Thanks Jim I guess it's this good clean air I breath (cough) in Cali..(cough)..fornia (cough).

Jim, you don't look a day over 40! but I'll get in touch with Dorian anyway and see if I can't hook you up ;) Of course you won't be able to look at your own painting.. small price to pay.

I'm actually 36, act like I'm 16 but don't feel a day older than 26.
Wait... How old am I?

Oh, and your new T-Shirt, Jim, has to be THE All Time Classic. I told my wife about it and she thought it was the funniest thing!
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#7 JobScholtze

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Posted 12 June 2004 - 12:27 PM

Hey you two, get a room :P :P
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#8 Marc_Abernathy

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Posted 12 June 2004 - 06:30 PM

AWW DAVE HAPPY B-DAY! i coul have bought a round for the crew in your honor if you would have let me know! (hmm.. i gues sits my duty to find that info out myself)...

anyway, i hope all is well... my eyes are just now starting to clear up from being out in that wonderful cali air.. ;)
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#9 JimBartell

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Posted 14 June 2004 - 09:00 PM

Oh, and your new T-Shirt, Jim, has to be THE All Time Classic. I told my wife about it and she thought it was the funniest thing!

For anyone wondering what the T-shirt said.....

That's John Hankammer to the right at Dalt's where we waited in vain for a personal appearance by Mr. Byro or John's sled.

I guess I bought that round of drinks for nothing!


Posted Image

Credit to Nick Franco for the idea.
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#10 RobVanGelder

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Posted 14 June 2004 - 11:02 PM

After all those discussions, pleas, promises, rants and arrangements....
and without any message from him that he could not make it?

Mr. Byro showed his real face (figuratively speaking) now.

I wouldn´t be surprised if he hasn´t John´s sled at all, probably sold already or dismantled and put in other rigs......

Very sad, there should be an international warning and price on his head!
Call the FBI..... oh, he is working for them, isn´t he?



Rob van Gelder B) (undercover)
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#11 David Allen Grove

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Posted 15 June 2004 - 01:38 AM

"I got your e-mail David, Thanks. I Will try to make it for Cinegear. I will be in
Alabama the latter part of next week to resolve our camera protocol issues.
If I can't make it to LA I'll send it to the address given.
Steve"

I can only assume that Steve will ship John's sled immediately after returning from Alabama next week at the VERY latest.

'nuff said for now.
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#12 Eric Fletcher S.O.C.

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Posted 15 June 2004 - 02:21 AM

"I got your e-mail David, Thanks. I Will try to make it for Cinegear. I will be in Alabama the latter part of next week to resolve our camera protocol issues. If I can't make it to LA I'll send it to the address given.
Steve"

So is "Alabama" a euphemism for head up ones own a$$?

This guy is a serious piece of work. John did you look into any of those things we talked about?
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